Fed Up

This has absolutely nothing to do with watching what I eat etc....but instead I have a question.  How can you spend over a decade trying to protect someone you love from getting hurt only to find out they are blaming you for stuff?  My 14 yr old has seen his dad a grand total of 1 time in over a year.  All I hear is "I wish I had never met him, I wish he wasn't my dad, I can't stand him, I wish he would go away (go where...he is never here!)  and my personal favorite....I WISH HE WOULD JUST GO FALL IN A HOLE!!!!  Well....daddy dearest got remarried last week and his new wife, apparently trying to be the good little step mommy, has sent my son a friend request on facebook.  Do I have a problem with this?  Yes..yes I do.  But not for reasons that involve his newest fling coming into my house...no that doesn't bother me even tho he isn't welcome here.  What bothers me is that he always does this...he gets a new wife or girlfriend and puts it in their hands to schmooze MY child into wanting to see him....and what has happened?  He wants to meet the new wife.  He tells me he thinks he wants to talk to his dad but he isn't sure.  I personally think he needs to block him from facebook....but I can't very well tell him that.  My ex is after all, no matter how horrible of a father, my son's father (and yes I use that term loosely...more like sperm donor).  He now has told me "If dad wasn't such a jerk and hadn't ruined my life so many times, I'd like to see him but I don't want to because he will just do it all over again"  Ok I am proud of him for seeing this and realizing what will happen.  I swear my mom had the right idea when she told my ex that she would be willing to spend the rest of her life in prison over him.  It breaks my heart to see my baby boy hurting like this...but...we can't protect them forever I guess.  He will make the right decision because he is after all my son...practically the mirror of me most of the time.  And in the end, my ex will see what a jerk he is and how much he has hurt my son...I can't even say our son.  I've never been able to.  But whatever the outcome....he is missing out on some great stuff and I hope it hurts him as much as it hurts my child.