Fed Up

This has absolutely nothing to do with watching what I eat etc....but instead I have a question.  How can you spend over a decade trying to protect someone you love from getting hurt only to find out they are blaming you for stuff?  My 14 yr old has seen his dad a grand total of 1 time in over a year.  All I hear is "I wish I had never met him, I wish he wasn't my dad, I can't stand him, I wish he would go away (go where...he is never here!)  and my personal favorite....I WISH HE WOULD JUST GO FALL IN A HOLE!!!!  Well....daddy dearest got remarried last week and his new wife, apparently trying to be the good little step mommy, has sent my son a friend request on facebook.  Do I have a problem with this?  Yes..yes I do.  But not for reasons that involve his newest fling coming into my house...no that doesn't bother me even tho he isn't welcome here.  What bothers me is that he always does this...he gets a new wife or girlfriend and puts it in their hands to schmooze MY child into wanting to see him....and what has happened?  He wants to meet the new wife.  He tells me he thinks he wants to talk to his dad but he isn't sure.  I personally think he needs to block him from facebook....but I can't very well tell him that.  My ex is after all, no matter how horrible of a father, my son's father (and yes I use that term loosely...more like sperm donor).  He now has told me "If dad wasn't such a jerk and hadn't ruined my life so many times, I'd like to see him but I don't want to because he will just do it all over again"  Ok I am proud of him for seeing this and realizing what will happen.  I swear my mom had the right idea when she told my ex that she would be willing to spend the rest of her life in prison over him.  It breaks my heart to see my baby boy hurting like this...but...we can't protect them forever I guess.  He will make the right decision because he is after all my son...practically the mirror of me most of the time.  And in the end, my ex will see what a jerk he is and how much he has hurt my son...I can't even say our son.  I've never been able to.  But whatever the outcome....he is missing out on some great stuff and I hope it hurts him as much as it hurts my child.

Just one of those days.

I am just not feelin' it today.  I worked, I came home, I sat down, I said "Can't be lazy".  So I got up and went outside to hoop for a bit.  And I'm just absolutely, positively NOT feeling it today.  I tried...and I quit.  I came in the house.  I ate a sandwich.  And now I'm back to being lazy.  Tomorrow is a new day.  And hopefully I will feel the need to hoop my butt off then.

And much like the hula hooping....I'm not feelin' the blog either LOL.  Have a good one everyone!

The Saga Continues

OK...so....I totally fell off the wagon today.  It was my first day working in the office in almost 2 yrs.  I have been blessed with a job that allows me to work from home.  UNTIL NOW.  My computer fried and so I am in the office for about 3 wks while I wait for a computer to be brought to me to replace the one that is fried.  Did I mention the computer is already at the office and I still have to wait that long?  Yeah.....not cool.  Anyhoooo....I had intended on stopping this morning on the way to work for a cup of coffee but since my entire work world has been turned upside down, I forgot.  Instead, I stopped at the local gas station and got a bottle of diet iced tea (good choice) and a bottle of water (even better choice).  Then, it happened.  The bad choice....did you know bad choices come in the form of pepperoni and cheese stuffed inside of a huge roll?  Yeah....a pepperoni roll.  I made my purchase and went on my unmerry way to work.  I got to work, found out where I would be sitting for the next eternity, and began a day that will go down in history as "OMG why did I do that" day.  It started easily enough.  I drank my tea.  Then my stomach started growling around 9am or so.  AH....the vending maching was calling my name.  A hershey bar with almonds was the choice I made.  Hey, at least it had almonds right?  So I ate my candy bar and started on my bottle of water.  As lunch time loomed so close yet so far away, I sat at my desk wishing the building would crumble to the ground.  No such luck.  Oh well, it's noon.  I warmed up the pepperoni roll and TRIED to eat it but it was less than tasty.  That could be a good thing, if I wasn't starving.  Yes, it wasn't that great and I ate it anyway :-(  After lunch I continued to do my best to not slip into a coma from the boredom and having to sit at a desk and listen to loud people around me.  The it hit me...the dreaded sweet tooth.  Back to the vending machine for chocolate covered donuts....oh how I love thee.  I devoured the donuts and finished off the water.  FINALLY 5PM rolled around and I headed home only to find that my dear sweet boyfriend made hot dogs for dinner.  No big deal, I was gonna make hot dogs anyway...he just beat me to it YAY....so I ate a hot dog and some potato chips and french onion dip for dinner.  

To say I fell off the wagon would be the understatement of the year.  But ya know what?  Tomorrow is a new day and I will do better.  Do I feel guilty for the way I ate today?  Yes...yes I do, but everyone has a bad day.  Do I feel bad?  Yes....yes I do....but bad as in my stomach hates me for eating the junk I did today.  I shall love my stomach and feed it better tomorrow.